The Invitation - Grace for the Journey

Touched Near the Tendon

Sat, 6 Mar 2010 13:59:01 PST

All week I’ve been preparing for a devotion for the Stone Croft Leadership Summit that I am attending on this weekend. The theme is “Every Leader has a Dream.” The topics include: How to determine what dream you were designed to live, from dream to reality, beating the dream busters and more with life coaches in attendance. My regional director asked me to address the question, “How do dreamers pray?”

For the last few weeks I’ve been praying over the question and through my reading God has lead me to some great thoughts. I can’t share it all until after I get back…or I’ll spill the beans too early, but my readings in scripture have become amazingly personal.

As I wrestled with what to share in a ten minute devotion, I discovered there is so much I could share from the life of Joseph, Isaiah, Ananias, and Paul – just to mention a few dreamers in the Bible. But I couldn’t find in scripture where Joseph actually prayed for a dream. But I did discover Jacob, his father, wrestled with God and asked for a blessing. God in His graciousness could have granted a generational blessing to Joseph which is promised often throughout scripture.

Just to review, Joseph was 17 years old, a shepherd boy, and favored by his father Jacob. Joseph had a dream that there were stalks of grain in the field, and one stood erect and all the others bowed down. The interpretation of the dream was that Joseph’s brothers would bow down to him. You can imagine this seemingly prideful dream ticked off his brothers. The brothers threw him in a cistern, where later he was found and sold as a slave to Pharaoh. For 20 years he stayed in the prison ward, and years later he found favor when he humbly interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams preparing the nation for a time of harvest and famine. Due to this he was placed 2nd in command to that of Pharaoh. Twenty-seven years later, his dream was fulfilled when his brothers came to ask for grain during the famine, they bowed before him.

Then the thought occurred to me, 15 years ago, God planted a dream within my heart…and this week the fulfillment of my dream is scheduled to land on my doorstep; I have plenty of prayers I can share as a dreamer! (I’ll have to post these next week…to be continued!)

But I would like to share a real dream that inspired me with hope that one of my prayer partners had over a year ago, and I was in it. My friend and our worship leader from church were also in the dream. We were in a home, and the worship leader arrived and he was carrying lanterns. In the background, my friend repeatedly heard the words “Sons of Peniel, sons of Peniel.” As we researched the meaning of Peniel, we found that it comes from the story in the Bible when Jacob wrestles with God during the night…begging for God’s blessing. Peniel means “face of God.” Jacob named it this for this was the location that he saw the face of God and lived.

I continued to read the passage and Jacob did not want to let go until the man blessed him. Because he had struggled with God and with men and had overcome, God blessed him there. The next morning, Jacob was limping because of his hip “The socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon” deep within. After reading this passage, I recalled the dream and now to read about Jacob’s pain in his hip…The correlation stirred in my heart, “I too have wrestled with God and man to reach my dream.” Now I will pray the words the man requested, “Let me go…for it is daybreak.” Let me go – free with healing, ready to serve with strength and with your blessing. Bless me, O LORD, indeed – that our faces would reflect the face of God – for your glory.

Okay, you might be saying along with Joseph’s brothers, “’Here comes that dreamer!’ She’s lost it!” I do believe God still communicates through dreams. Dreams give us hope, a vision of the future. As I studied Joseph’s dream, I thought he too was crazy for sharing it with his brothers who “hated him all the more.” But Psalm 105:19 says, “(God) sent a man before them…sold as a slave…till what he foretold came to pass, to prove the word of the Lord true!” We see that Joseph telling his dream was not a mistake. God fulfilled his dream and proved himself faithful…as The Dream Keeper!

At the time when Joseph shared his dream, the dream seemed unbelievable! But at the proper time, the dream became practical… “Feed my sheep.” For me, the dream of publishing seemed unreal. Met with lots of uncertainty and difficulty, but God was faithful to keep his promises. I encourage you through prayer to delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires (dreams) of your heart. Commit your way to him, trust him. He will do this, (he will fulfill them) (Psa. 37:4-5).

When we think of dreams we think of puffy white clouds with the backdrop of a baby blue sky.Though we are given dreams, we are not immune to the difficulties along the way. Don’t be surprised if you are deeply touched “near the tendon” with a suffering. The hardships we encounter may very likely be the most critical part of our journey – to fulfill our dream. God works all things for good – God’s purpose for our dreams mixed with storm clouds is to know Him and make him known. And then, in the dark storm clouds, God strews across the sky a glimpse of a beautiful rainbow for his glory, giving us hope – to let us know he is with us.

Steam Room Mentality

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 06:13:42 PST

Today I arrived at the YMCA for a swim, and as I walked in the door I read a sign, “Pool closed until Sunday, Feb. 28th”. Slightly aggravated, I ran into my new swimming buddy, Jeff, the fifty year old was in a car accident, has some disabilities, and has a great way of renewing my perspective. He told me some kid pooped in the pool and we couldn’t swim, which brought a good laugh to me. But it actually was time for the pool’s bi-annual cleaning.

I had just met a friend for a bagel with loads of cream cheese. Anticipating that I was going to work off my bagel later, I enjoyed every bite. My friend and I talked about our similar back, hip, and leg pains. We compared notes of what we could and couldn’t do as far as our activities were concerned. Her restrictions from her doctor really made common sense.

As I listened to her doctor’s cautions for her to walk shorter walks twice a day, no vacuuming or toilet washing, I wondered if I have not healed as quickly because I’ve been so adamant about working out and spring cleaning before the books arrived. I have not slowed down to heal completely. I had not been choosing to restrain myself from doing all that I really wanted to do.

As we talked, I shared that I had this list that I wanted to accomplish before the books release, which we are told may be mid-March. Literally, here it comes - March madness!! Realizing that this time of being injured might be God’s provision for me to “be still and know” – know that “all is well” – know that God’s timing is perfect – know that this time is to be “a time of refreshing” before I hit the road to share the message. I realized after talking with my friend today that I needed to cease striving and rest in the fact that my body is not physically ready for the strain of spring cleaning, or even running again. I need to let my agenda go – to grasp God’s.

So, since I couldn’t swim and I had driven to the Y, I decided to walk my mile, do my core exercises, and then sit in the steam room. I am a rare woman, I actually like to sweat. I think it makes me feel like I got a good workout. Now that I am swimming I just don’t sweat, so I’ve resolved to sit in the heat until I do.

“Burr-cheee,” the steam quickly filled the tiny white room like fog. The warmth enveloped my body and immediately I felt relaxed. I happened to be alone and spent a few minutes in prayer. As I sat in the steam, it occurred to me that the steam is such a great visual aid of the Holy Spirit.

Like the Israelites in the desert, the LORD led them, with a “cloud by day and fire by night.” There sure are times in my life I wish God’s leading was clearer. I wish we could see the Spirit all around us, leading us. But I guess that’s where our faith comes into play. We must walk by faith not by sight; fixing our eyes on the unseen.” (2 Cor. 5:7, 2 Cor. 4:18)

There are times we sense the Spirit’s warmth, or are so moved we might even break out into a sweat! These occasions might be rare, but our spirit identifies with His Spirit…and we just know His presence is with us. Take with you today the steam room mentality – His Spirit is in you, His loving presence surrounds you, He holds you with is righteous right hand. Believe in the unseen. Let it calm your soul and know that “all is well.”

Trust. God is leading. I’m adopting my friend’s common sense restrictions for awhile, and God’s agenda to wait on the spring cleaning to do list. I’m thankful for a husband who vacuums. If I could just get him to clean the toilets.

What's Your POV?

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:08:12 PST

Our family enjoys watching most any sport, but we hunker down every night to catch sight of the Olympic Games. I suppose we enjoy these events because they are uncommon to see on a regular basis - downhill skiing, the luge, speed skating, and curling. This year has been especially eventful to see the USA women’s team win the gold in our first downhill skiing event.

One night this week the announcers mentioned that each skier had a POV…point of view…of the slope below. This POV was how they would conquer the challenging downhill slopes the fastest for the victory. Unfortunately, some athletes POV overlooked the simple strides of a steady start, while others in the past celebrated too early and lost the gold.
The lesson observed here…the whole race counts! But concentration is needed at the beginning, middle, and end. No moment allows for slackness in effort or focus until the finish line is crossed. This principle was honed in to my heart this morning when I read “Remember, it is the last few yards that tell.” I immediately thought of a football game – to score the touchdown sometimes the greatest efforts are made by the offence – and defense on the one yard line! The devotion continued to the effect of looking at our prayer life and then actions. How many of our prayers have gone unanswered because those of us who prayed did not endure to the end?

Then the words “Can you endure to the end?” brought a resolve within me. I must finish this race God’s way, utilizing his strength to stay strong to the end. As a daily reminder, I have kept by my computer one of my daughter’s handwritten verses from Acts 20:24, “If only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me.”

I have had a few times when God has led me to scriptures that refer to Jesus’ last hours proclaiming “It is finished” in reference to his work on the cross. I realize the writing of my book and journal is finished – complete. I spent five years, especially the last two, seriously sacrificing time, money, and relationships to finish. I had to make hard choices…right where God wanted me to be, depending on him in my weak area of decision making. I had to choose whether to write or attend a local Bible Study, edit my manuscript or go to lunch with friends. Those other things are good things, but there are times when we must block everything out so we can focus and finish.

When I think about the Olympic athletes, they too, have spent years training for these two or three events in hope to fulfill their dream. They have sacrificed hours of good things for the best thing – their dream! How disheartening to see one fall, no matter what country they represent, and then be disqualified for the award.

The neat and hopeful principle when running a race with God is that if he is in it you will finish, and finish strong. The requirement to compete with God is not on your ability, but on your availability, and trust in his enabling power. God takes people like me who are available and willing, who have no clue what they are doing, and he gives them a commission. “Go, write. Go, speak.”

The first few steps for me were a little wobbly coming out of the gate. Then I too was met with hills to zoom down faster than I have ever gone, sharp turns, harden ice to make it across …which all present their own challenges. Then God sent friends to cheer me on, with reminders along the way that He is with me, stay focused to your goal, and finish the work.
What is your POV? Does the circumstance in your life have you standing at the bottom of the mountain of impossibility? Or do you thank God for the mountain and ask for his strength and grace to conquer it trusting that he will guide you each step of the way?

I remember getting my first copy made of my manuscript for a few to see. Three men came into the store and asked for copies of a song while I was waiting by the check-out counter. The clerk threw a copy of their song right down in front of me. Amazingly, it was a hymn, “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow.” Three men and a hymn…this wasn’t a coincidence. The blessing was just beginning as I took the step to get my manuscript ready. Little did I know then, that the invitation to climb must be accomplished with praise and thanksgiving. Both of these disciplines take us to God’s POV. He is bigger than our mountains and more able than our fears…He who began a good work in you – will complete it.

For me this week, holding my first hard copy of my book in my hands to approve it for the final print was an exhilarating thrill; it was almost surreal. To think that I’m on the last few yards for the finish…with God all things are possible…and this is just the beginning. We aren’t celebrating all out yet…but we are planning a big book signing party and you ALL are welcome to come!

As if the book wasn’t enough for me, I was treated to another thrill this week as I had the opportunity to speak to 92 ladies in Lexington’s Christian Women’s Club. The room was filled with the flare and flame of love for Valentines. The women were so gracious and hospitable, but the sweet gift for me was having one lady take the step of faith through the eternal doorway of no regrets – acknowledging her need for Jesus in her life.
God’s POV…Are you persevering in the things of eternal value that will not fade away or are you satisfied with the measly crumbs from this life? Are you enduring to the end trusting in his strength? The Olympians go into strict training to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (1 Corinthians 9:25)

The Mighty Winds

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 06:00:26 PST

One morning while I was taking my daughter to the bus stop while it was still dark, we pulled out of the garage to meet a huge branch lying across the driveway. I reluctantly got out of the car to remove our obstacle and the wind about carried me away! For the remainder of the day the winds blew anywhere from 25-50 miles an hour.

It hadn’t been too long ago that my neighbor asked me if I knew why we always seemed to have dead branches lying in our front yards. I didn’t give it much thought – other than the branch died and fell off. The thought did not occur to me then, until this morning when I heard the mighty winds of winter blow, and I witnessed the snapping of branches strewn across my yard – God has his own way of pruning nature. He sends the winds to cut and strips bare the unfruitful growth.

Usually I think of God gently pruning, but this fierce wind had no mercy. Psalm 135:5 says, “I know the LORD is great, that our God is greater than all gods. The LORD does whatever pleases him in the heavens and on the earth…he brings out the wind from his storehouses.” When I think of things stored up…like in my grandma’s freezer, things that are “stored up” can effusively gush out.

As we have witnessed with hurricanes, there are times God just lets lose the wind and stirs up nature, matter, and anything in its’ path. He stirs up the forest so the trees roar commanding our attention. In my neighborhood, between our homes lined up horizontally to the woods in the back, it forms a tunnel, and the wind’s force creates the sound of a freight train passing through.

God not only prunes physically in nature, but scripture tells us he prunes us spiritually. I was reminded by another author this week to remember that I was in the hands of the Master Gardener. He makes no mistakes about the methods of his pruning. I realized I need to expect the pruning as I would a blessing, for it is in disguise. For my life to bear more fruit, I needed to receive the pruning and let God have his way – however painful. When we yield to the season of pruning it is a natural, spiritual cycle that promises to bud, blossom, and bring forth a harvest of righteousness.

Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful…Remain in me and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain on the vine…apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned….But this is to my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:1-8).

Are you ready for when the violent winds come your way to yield to God’s perfecting work? Whether by a fierce wind or unknowingly by a gentle stirring, bend and sway, with a thankful heart and let him break the branches that no longer bear fruit. You might be wondering what in your life needs to be pruned. God seems to cut out the things we do that are no longer giving him much glory. God often uses change to bring his pruning to help us see what is really important in this life and to show us what has eternal value.For some of us it’s the things we are dependent on for our security. Often they are our “crutches” like a wooden stick we find on a walk to lean on….the temporary things of this world that we hold so tightly…like money. From our pruning, we are learning to be better stewards of God’s money.

We had tons of branches to pick up, but I was thankful for these tiny pruning’s instead of one big tree! To say the least, 2010 has been a very eventful winter and a challenging year in our lives. And as I speak with my friends, we are all ready for spring to arrive. And with the promise of spring, silently with the warmth of the sun the spirit-life sap comes forth with new life, leaves, buds, blossoms, and abundant fruit – more than we know. Oh – we can’t wait to see what God will bring forth.

Thumbs Up!

Fri, 5 Feb 2010 07:59:24 PST

What a great morning to write! My kids are out of school and still tucked cozily in their beds. I woke up to a glorious view – a winter wonder land. The snow has gracefully landed on every limb of every branch in the woods. It’s as if the trees are holding their arms up to heaven and they speak together “GLORY!”

I just happened to open my Bible this morning and Psalm 8:1-3 “O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers…what is man that you are mindful of him,… that you care for him? But you made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.” To believe that God created us with more glory than the covering of the freshly fallen snow; I’m still trying to grasp this truth.

The weather forecasters’ triple threat of rain, sleet, and snow hit North Carolina last weekend, leaving this entire week to be an interesting one. My kids were out of school every day except Thursday this week. The kids were able to get some sledding in with their dad. However, I stayed back; I was scolded by my doctor for shoveling a little snow off my back deck, so I assumed sledding was out of the question!

During our “free” time, my youngest daughter had a few extra days to finish her 5th grade science project. Her title was “Thumbs Up! Are Fingerprints Inherited?” After doing a little research, we were amazed to learn more about our unique epidermis.

We discovered during a woman’s pregnancy, weeks 10 through 12 of gestation ridges are formed on the fingertips of the epidermis, which is your outer layer of skin. This pattern of ridges is your unique, static fingerprint. There is none other like yours on earth! The pattern never changes other than in proportion to the body’s growth. Therefore, the fingerprint is a consistent form of identification. Police use fingerprints to discover if a particular individual has been at a crime scene.

We learned there are three general categories of fingerprints – the loop, whorl, and arch; although the exact number, shape, and spacing of the ridges can vary from person to person. The loop pattern has ridges that enter from either side, re-curve and exit out the same or other side. (This is what I have). The whorl pattern has ridges that are usually circular. And the arch pattern has ridges that enter one side, make a rise in the center, and exit on the opposite side.

My daughter compared fingerprints from siblings and their parents, versus pairs of unrelated individuals to figure out whether fingerprint patterns are genetic or random. Since our bodies are made up of DNA and we do inherit traits like eye-color, hair color, right or left hand domination, my daughter concluded “Yes” that we are more likely to share the same genetic patterns.

When my kids were toddlers, well, actually I still say it to my rowdy teens, “Hands are for helping, not hurting.” If we take a moment and think about Jesus’ hands – his fingerprints, I am reminded of the story of the woman caught in adultery. After the Pharisees caught her in the act of adultery, they brought her to Jesus and told him the consequences for such an act was stoning to death. “But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone.” People have speculated that Jesus was writing the personal sins of the Pharisees in the dust, but no one knows for sure.

As the men slowly started to walk away, Jesus continues to write on the dust. Jesus’ actions removed their judgment like the very dust and sins written caught by the wind. There was no one left to condemn her, and neither did Jesus. He exhorted her to go and leave her life of sin. We see the fingertip of God being used to set this sinful woman free – free from physical and spiritual death.

Yesterday, I read a newsletter. It happened to say, “Fingerprints. Take a minute to think of those who have left their mark on your life.” Who has left their fingerprints on your life? Perhaps the fingerprint of your parents who sacrificed their time and energy to raise you, work, and put you through college. Or maybe you had a teacher or a coach who believed in your potential and pushed you to be more than you thought you could be. Or maybe the imprints in your life are from a friend who stood beside you through a hard divorce – or a pastor who came to pray for you in the hospital.

Think back through your life of all the fingerprint impressions God has used to encourage you, love, build you up, and protect you in Him. May we in-turn leave the imprints of Jesus on everyone we meet. The fingerprints of Jesus have been impressed upon me through your love, support, notes, prayers, and calls – thank you! There have been many times during this “winter wait” that I wonder if it will ever end. But then I think of all of you praying – some of you I have never met face to face, some of you ever so briefly. But the comfort comes knowing so many loved ones are praying for us – praying us through this time of testing, and I am touched by the hand of God. We live by faith, not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7).

My daughter’s hypothesis was correct. Her project concluded that our fingerprint patterns are genetic and closely resemble those of our own family. Do your prints show your true id? Are you leaving the imprints of a child of God on those around you? You may never know the impressions you left on someone – a handshake with a smile on someone else’s bad day, or a card written with love and received in the darkness of soul, a gentle touch on the shoulder to affirm a friendship, or a listening ear over some coffee. All you have to do is open your heart and your hands, and ask God to use you to bless others and He will. And someone might notice the fingertip of God through you.

The Drowning -Rescued

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 12:33:13 PST

At the beginning of this week, waves of uncertainty were washing over me and I felt like I was drowning with weariness from my physical pain and our continued testing. Thankfully, circumstances have lightened and I have sensed answers to your many prayers – thank you! Last weekend, after a scary night of pain in my back, that made me feel like I was going to pass out, I am finally seeing the results of my exercises and doctor visits. The pain in my back and hip has lessened and the doctor believed it was coming from a pinched nerve between my 4th and 5th vertebrae in which they needed to be slightly adjusted and strengthened.

Our stress was lifted after we also hit some obstacles with the journal in the 11th hour and needed to stop print until they were resolved. I had to make some decisions concerning the print run and paper size. Thankfully, these issues are resolved and we are ready to roll again!

But my feelings this week have been similar to my swimming experience yesterday. I arrived at the pool at a somewhat of crowded time and I wasn’t able to have my own lane. I’m not crazy about sharing a lane; it puts pressure on me to perform well, which can be a good motivator or bad, causing me stress under water! The gentlemen I shared my lane with obviously had been swimming awhile. He swam seemingly without any effort, and I lost count how many times he passed me!

Since I’d only been swimming one week, I switched around my routine so I could breathe: One lap free style, one lap breast stroke, one lap back stroke, and I used the kick board. I never conquered the butterfly. My lane partner – oh, he just kept doing freestyle effortlessly down and back.

Attempting to keep up to prevent him from lapping me again, I was swimming freestyle and I literally ran out of breath, gasping each time I lifted my head. I did find hope in being able to see the wall just a short distance away, but truly what brought me peace was that I knew the Lifeguard was watching over me. (A cute one too! Maybe a rescue wouldn’t be so bad!) In each stroke, I did have to coach myself, “Slow down,” and “breath deep.” “I won’t drown!”

Thankfully, I made it to the wall, gasping again and taking a break to fix my steamed up goggles. I decided to head back down the lane and I flipped over to do the back stroke. About midway down the lane as I attempted to stick close to the lane rope to avoid hitting my skilled lane partner, I accidentally hit the gentleman in the next lane with my arm. He was also sharing his lane and up close to the lane rope. I quickly apologized, “Oh, sorry!” as I swam the rest of the length.

Later in my workout, as I was hanging on the wall to recuperate, the gentleman I had accidentally hit stopped to rest as well. He turned and said to me, “Did I hit you or did you hit me?” I immediately took responsibility and reaffirmed by apologies. I had noticed he had been swimming the side stroke and at the time I had not thought much of it, until he spoke. Right away it appeared to me he was what my kids call “a special kid,” with slight disabilities. These observations were affirmed as he quickly told me he had been in a car wreck at the age of nineteen and as well, I witnessed his crooked smile and a huge scar on his shoulder.

He proceeded to ask my name and tell me his. Then he told me his age…of 53. The next question out of his mouth surprised me, “How old are you?” I smiled and said straight out, “I’m not tellin,’” then I gave in and said, “43 and I have some years on you!” He laughed with a big toothy grin.

After I had observed every strenuous effort he had made to swim, out of my mercy welling up inside, I just had to tell him he was doing a great job swimming. His stroke was actually one you’d see a four year old child make – a sideways doggy paddle.

Here God goes again…When I think I am drowning in my own problems, God always brings someone with a worse circumstance across my path to renew my mind and attitude, to remind me to be thankful for what I do have. I am reminded of the scripture,“Take no thought of your life…”

While I continued to swim, I thought back to the suffocating, drowning feeling I had felt earlier in my rushed freestyle workout. It’s not the brave capable swimmer that God comes down to rescue, but it’s those who in the height of the storm, when it has reached its peak, to those who are drowning - that’s when the Rescuer comes down to save! When he hears our cry – what sense of tenderness and comfort of refuge and safety the awareness of his presence brings…just like the Life guard looking over me – ready to rescue those in need. God used a new friend that day to rescue me.

Is it part of God’s method to allow us in our sufferings to get to a breaking point, to reach the point we feel like we can't take any more? Does he allow us to sink until we desperately call out “Jesus!” And then he lifts us up – Rescued from the crashing waves. We are found totally dependent on him, resting in his arms of refuge and strength. “There is no other name by which men can be saved” (Acts 4:12).

My Bible study this week has even led me to the story when Jesus and the disciples were on the water. (Matthew 8:23-37, Mark 4:35-41) Without warning, a violent squall suddenly blew waves over the side of the boat so that “it was nearly swamped.” The disciples had rowed and rowed, at the point that they were terrified of drowning, their thoughts turn to Jesus. Where was Jesus? They found him sleeping on a cushion in the stern. The disciples eagerly woke him up and said, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” I've pondered those thoughts myself at times.

Jesus could have calmed the storm at the first sight of the angry waves, but no lesson would have been learned for disciples, or left for us. Once invited to act, Jesus responded with an authoritative rebuke and immediately calmed the wind and the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” The anxious disciples again stood amazed as the wind died down and it became completely calm. Safely they arrived on the other side of the lake.

Jesus asks the disciples a question that penetrates my heart and challenges my faith as if in my own circumstances Jesus was addressing me, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Sometimes I find myself responding in the panic mode, with scepticism or little faith. In this story Jesus was fully human, yet fully God. Of course he needed to sleep, but now, on this side of his death and resurrection he no longer takes his eye off of us. “From his dwelling place, he watches over all who live on earth - he who watches over you will neither slumber nor sleep” (Psalm 33:14, 121:3).

He hears our cry and comes to our rescue. His promise is sure, "I will rescue you..." (Isaiah 46:4b). He proclaims with authority as the waves of trials come into our lives, “Quiet! Be still!” Trust him to calm your storm…or renew your perspective. Invite him into your sinking ship!

The Rescuer comes extending his outstretched hand to you in your “drowning” circumstances to help you catch your breath. His presence is always with us – ready to save a willing soul. At the pinnacle of our panic, at the “fullness of time” Jesus Rescues. “Don’t be afraid…only believe.” Pray with me “Oh, Lord I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!” May he flood our lives with his calming presence.

Everlasting Arms

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:56:45 PST

Last week’s blog must have left many of you thinking, “She is a ‘basket case’ these days;” I have received more feedback than ever before! Thank you for your concern and mutual understanding of a mid-life mother juggling life. Praise God “He holds all things together!” (Colossians 1:17)

This week both of my daughters were sick so I have had to plant myself at home, and slow down. Therein, lays a grateful reason for illness. We missed our former churches 25th reunion which saddens my heart, but God has a way of trimming our schedules from time to time.

Many of my mental and physical challenges continue – I am still visiting my sports medicine doctor this week, hoping to see some improvement – maybe the pain is suppose to get worse before it gets better? My doctor gave me permission to start walking one mile every other day, alternated with swimming.

Feeling like a bird let out of my cage, I headed out for a walk around the track at the YMCA while my daughter swam. My hip was feeling pretty good, yet still a little tight. What was hard to watch were the runners effortlessly gliding by me! I’d look at them and say to myself with an underlying envy, “I am going to run again someday.” Cautiously ignoring my aches, I slowly moved my way around the track. Eventually I passed an elderly woman, straining to the best of her ability with the support of her walker. God always puts people in my path who are worse off than I am, for a little attitude adjustment. I started to give thanks for my legs, my doctor, and my lessening pain, yielding to the whole healing process.

Then yesterday after I saw my doctor and felt pretty good. I needed to drop by the grocery. I was determined to cram one more item in the brown bag for ease of carrying; the handles broke right as I was walking out, in front of all the checkout lanes, and out tumbled my items – syrup, Jello pudding, and bread …thankfully not any eggs! The lady at the end of the check out where I had to gather my things…gave me quite “the glare.” If looks could speak, I’m sure she thought, “she better get herself together.” Instead of letting it get to me, I just had to laugh and let it go!

For some of our “rest” time, my daughters and I have been roped into watching this season of American Idol. Why is it that so many people enjoy the show? (Although through the years it has gotten more edgy – right along with Hollywood, I guess.) I think there’s a deep seeded hope and happiness that emerges when we see the unlikely given a golden opportunity – to be chosen as likely. We love seeing the unlovely made lovely; the unappealing made appealing, the lost talent – found.

I actually never pondered the message that we love in it, but it clearly represents the message of the gospel. There is a message of hope given to us as we watch those who take risks and are chosen. The difference would be within the gospel – all who are chosen receive honor.

American idol seems to touch our emotions as we watch a variety of people we can relate to. We laugh together at some of the contestants, like the elderly gentleman who sang, “Pants on the floor, pants on the floor” as he innocently poked fun at the youthful baggy-pant generation. We cry together at the stories…like the young boy who wants to make his parents proud by redeeming the mistake that lead to his imprisonment. We are moved to see the courage of a young girl with a damaged nerve in her face that causes her smile to slant – yet as she sang she rose above her insecurities. We see year after year, many are given the opportunity to soar that they otherwise may have never found. We catch a glimpse of a dream dreamed like Susan Boyles, the woman discovered in England who surprised us all – and brought life to the stage.

My husband shared a quotation with me recently by Alfred Adler, “The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.” This thought makes me wrestle with my “mind” issues or my perfect appearances. Why is it such a big deal to look like I, or we have it all together?

Deep down I’m a people pleaser and I don’t want to make mistakes because of my fear of what others might think of me. We want life to flow smoothly and be well planned but…this whole trying to keep it all together...mentally pressured to keep my check list, is to really protect my heart. So, I play it safe. I say less, do less, be less…so my heart is protected from rejection by others.

But as we see on Idol – life and hope is found by taking risks – not by playing it safe. (I am writing this lesson for me. If it blesses you, praise God.) Right now in my life, I can no longer play it safe. My books have gone to print, the money has been paid, and they are about to be cut lose along with who I am.

God always meets me where I am, and this week I read in My Utmost for His Highest – When God is your all in all, everything to you, people (and their thoughts – which we can never truly figure out) are merely shadows behind his presence. When God is Big in my life, the center, the core of who I am, then I am free….It’s okay to drop the groceries in the middle of the floor, it’s okay that we aren’t perfect, not remembering the plates for dinner after every one has already sat down…it’s okay.

Ya know why? It’s okay to be weak, imperfect because the message of the gospel – God’s mercy comes to us with hope. When we are weak, God can be seen stronger! When we fall, he can be seen as our Helper – “Let the beloved (that’s you and me) of the LORD rest secure in him for he shields him all day long. The one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders…” (Deuteronomy 33:12) All throughout scripture we see that God’s ways are not our ways. He turns ashes to beauty, a spirit of despair into a garment of praise. “He will make rivers flow on barren heights, …instead of a thorn bush will grow a pine tree, instead of briers, the myrtle will grow…for the Lord’s renown” (Isaiah 61:3, 41:18, 55:13).

May we get to the end of ourselves, weaned of all our dependencies so that our security rests in God alone. We are learning this personally and as a society – our security is not to be put in other people, in our money, and not in our circumstances.

As I step out with the book, little fears sneak in. I’ve thought often, “What in the world have I done?” I’ve put myself out there…all of me! But you know what God impressed on my heart this morning to battle my fear of falling or of failure? Depending on him may feel stepping out on a zip-line or walking on a tight rope, but there is a safety net and “underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deuteronomy 33:27). There is the only place of rest – a place of acceptance and eternal approval. Our hope is to hear, “You are going on to the next level…”

Where can you risk your heart? Is it speaking with your neighbor and inviting them to church? Is it leading a Bible Study or singing a solo? Is it accepting God’s forgiveness for your mistakes and forgiving yourself? Going on a mission trip to help with relief in Haiti? All God asks is that you take one step at a time…and trust him. “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear” (Isa. 59:1).

Mind Over Matters

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:40:55 PST

Last week I shared that I had finally gotten my mind together, and but my body was falling apart. After my crazy week, I think I’ve lost my mind!

I say that jokingly, but I have made some crazy blunders this week. I forgot that my daughter needed to be picked up after her first day of basketball tryouts! Our family arrived at our former church’s anniversary party a weekend earlier than scheduled. I scorched our vegetables on the stove one night this week. I spent several times clicking the “lock” button on my car to “unlock” the car before my brain registered. My list could go on, but I can’t remember them all!

Aren’t there times in life when you just wonder what is going on? A voice flooded in, “What’s wrong with you?” I had to stop after all my many blunders and think about why I’ve had all these mix up’s in my mind.

There are times in my life when things just get too busy and spin out of control. First, I had to realize I need to slow down and pray to ask God for some direction. He made my body and knows what’s going on better than I do myself. I needed to take some time to think through why I’m “losing my mind.”

There is the physical aspect that I’m possibly entering the mid-stage of life waking up at all hours of the night, and I haven’t rested as well as I used to therefore, I don’t think clearly. My doctor informed me I cannot run nor walk until he gives me the okay. I have to heal from the inside out, and that takes time. So, my body is not getting any exercise to help stimulate the remaining brain cells that are functioning.

The other facet that may be causing some confusion is the fact that I have so many decisions “up in the air.” I don’t think I function very well when so many thoughts are rambling through my head. I wondered if I needed to go back to a physical calendar on my desk, something from Franklin Covey to help me organize my calendar – and my life.

Now that the books have both officially gone to print, I thought I’d be footloose and fancy free! Don’t take me wrong, I am very thrilled to have finished and released the final product; the season of singing has arrived in my heart! But now I need to focus on being prepared on the business side of things.

Establishing a business to market the books is a totally new adventure …kind of like another side trial to our journey. I’ve been thinking through a business and marketing plan. I’ve been praying about my entity; are we a non-profit or for-profit? Am I a Sole Proprietor or an LLC (Limited Liability Corp)? All these things are important to decide before you fill out forms for your tax identification number. Then I need to find an amiable, patient CPA. And the hardest decision has been to figure out a name for my ministry and purchase a domain on the internet. And how much should you pay for it? (The complexity of the web is another whole new world for me!) Throw in the daily family decisions…and wa-la – there you have it – a crazed woman.

Of course, as I blunder my way making business decisions, and learn to be business savvy, part of this process is receiving help from others – even when it hurts your pride. My perfectionist side wants to appear that I “have it all together.” God keeps striping me of false securities, makes me run to Him, and be willing to receive help from others.

I have always known that I really don’t like making big decisions and I’ve discovered through my absentmindedness that I am right where God wants me to be – in total dependence and desperation of Him. I need God’s help, not only to write, speak, and set up a business, but to even think straight!

I have found myself checking my calendar over and over again throughout the day. The fear of making another mistake motivated my behavior, and the fear of being found out a failure. I struggled with the embarrassment of our early visit for the anniversary party last weekend, but when it came down to why I was embarrassed – the reason was the fear of man’s approval, or lack thereof. (I am sure they thought I had lost all my mental faculties! I still would like to blame it on motherhood!)

The other possibility that clouds up my mind could be all the little things I need to remember and do. I need to un-clutter my mind by writing the activities down on a notepad. Riding in the car, I heard a brief comment by James Dobson. I‘ll paraphrase it, but he said that our physical, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing are all interrelated. I truly believe that – so when one of these areas of our lives gets out of balance – they all are affected.

As I know how, I am taking practical steps to keep my mind free of clutter to create a calmer, peaceful environment in my heart and home. Everyday I’ve started to slow down…and spend some quiet time in prayer, and renewing my mind reading scripture to get my mind focused. I take a few minutes and think through my schedule, praying over the day’s events, and writing it all down. I spend some time working on my “to do” list and set achievable goals for each day. I’m finding the balance in being prepared but not paranoid…allowing the process to turn my attentiveness to God for his help and guidance.

Spiritually, I am committing my mind and day to the Lord. Asking in prayer, “May my whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thess. 5:23). I pray, “Father, I commit my mind, my life, and my work to you. Help me be slow to speak, quick to listen and think and slow to anger. Renew my mind today with the truth of who I am.”

God’s timing is always perfect to gently restore us to right thinking and to what is reality. I was reminded today through a lesson a friend of mine taught from the book Search for Significance, “We are forgiven and righteous because of Christ’s sacrifice; therefore, we are pleasing to God in spite of our failures. This reality can replace our fear of failure with hope, peace, and joy. Neither success nor failure is the proper basis our self-worth. Christ alone is the source of our forgiveness, freedom, joy and purpose.”

The only One who really understands us is God. He takes us and gently peels away whatever confidence we may be placing our security in so we will seek Him. My pride was and is at the root of my embarrassment - in my mistakes and mix-ups – worrying about what everyone thinks of me! These humbling circumstances make me struggle with my confidence, whether the mistakes were made by confusion, lack of planning, or brain overload. How can I feel so insecure and unintelligent when the source of all security and wisdom is with me? What peace comforts me to know when I feel I’ve lost my mind, getting back in step, walking with God gives me clarity.

It is in God's presence where we can find mind and soul-balance.

Core Stability

Wed, 6 Jan 2010 12:24:17 PST

Monday morning after the holiday break, we were all struggling to wake up and get back into routine. The day started with a predicament as my son’s Pop-tart got stuck, no, not just stuck, but fell down below the shelf on the inside of the toaster, and the shelf actually sunk its’ teeth into it. We attempted to pull it out by using our handy-dandy wooden tongs. But to no advantage, the mangled Pop-tart slowly crumbled into bit size pieces. We even dumped the whole toaster upside down and the stubborn pastry did not budge; it was wedged into the bottom of the toaster. My day was starting to turn south in aggravation, but I decided to be thankful – this was now an opportunity for me to clean out the thousands of tiny crumbs inside my toaster tray. The battle of the Pop-tart was the beginning of my early spring cleaning spree!

One of my goals for 2010 while the books are at print has been to clean my entire house, each room from top to bottom, de-cluttering drawers and closets, dusting blinds, curtains, baseboards, and the list continues. I hate to admit it, but I have let things go for so long. Let’s see…I think it’s been about 2 years since I’ve really attempted a deep cleaning. (Do you know what I started two years ago? I started getting serious about these books!)

When we lived in High Point, we took cleaning seriously. Twice a year we would rent our home to furniture buyers who were in town during the furniture market. I’d strip the floors and re-wax them, wash windows inside and out, vacuum every corner – high and low. (I was getting paid to clean then, but it was very good discipline!) Although, now when I look back, I spent way too much time trying to make things perfect. Now, that I have relaxed a little…I figure, we are probably a little healthier living with some dirt in the house.

You know as I think back to the hours I spent cleaning, I briefly thought what a waste of time. But then I remembered…the prayers. The prayers that I prayed as I cleaned, scrubbed, changed the sheets…that our home would be a place of refuge, a place our visitors from Seattle would find God, and find…true rest. Maybe they’d discover God’s love for them from a book off of our shelves written by friends - C.S. Lewis, Oswald Chambers, Elizabeth Elliott and others. Or maybe the scripture hanging on our walls might touch their heart and open their eyes. My perception of my time cleaning was changed when I remembered the prayers that accompanied the cleaning. The time spent in prayer is never a waste.

Another goal of mine this month, along with getting my house in shape, it to get my body in shape! But I first need to find a solution to the pain in my side. (No, I am not referring to my husband. ?) But I’ve had an ache in my hip that’s kept me from running. It really amazes me that while I exercise to take care of my body, I just end up hurting myself! Then I have to stop exercising for it to heal, which defeats the purpose, don’t you think? And I also discovered, it is way easier for my body to get out of shape, than it is to get back into shape.

For several months I’ve cut back on the distance of my runs. I continually ached, especially after I ran, or sat to write for an extended period. Over the holidays I didn’t do much exercise at all, and I have finally stopped altogether. It was so hard for me not to do anything – I’ve exercised all of my life. My peers continued to tell me “Oh, it just takes longer to heal the older you get.” Obviously, I don’t have the patience to be sill and heal. I am sure by not stopping my workouts to allow the healing; it has caused me to reinjure my wound.

So Monday morning, my caring husband sent me to a recommended sports medicine doctor. I was hesitant to go, I had been getting a little better, but I have been so aggravated with the nagging pain; I was ready to get some help and be well.

The doctor asked me several question about the location, causes, and longevity of the pain, then came the skills part of my evaluation. He asked me to do a few squats and lunges. Sounds easy, huh? I did a few wobbly bends and started breaking out in a sweat…mostly out of embarrassment. The doctor said, “You have stability issues. For someone who’s a runner and exercises, I’m really surprised!” He also mentioned that I had one leg that was longer than the other. I was starting to feel like the Pop-tart in the toaster! I’m finally getting my mind together and my body is falling apart!

Later after discussing the morning’s event with my family, (we see more clearly after we talk things out don’t we?) I know I was nervous, and I started to make excuses for my wobbly lack of balance – too early in the morning, too much coffee, it was my nerves. I think some of the result of the “sweat” in the doctor’s office, other than the heat being cranked up due to the freezing temperatures in NC., were due to my feeling ashamed for the doctor to see the shape I was really in. In my mind, I was in good shape. I ran and walked, stretched occasionally, bicycled, and lifted weights twice a week (I did before my injury). Then I remembered walking down the halls at church or in high school and accidently leaning into someone, more than once, and apologizing. Even recently, I have swayed into my girlfriend often on our walking route. Maybe this new doctor is on to something. I recall he had said, “We’ve got to address the core problem before we can adjust the symptom in your hip.” My core problem: the lack of stability.

I believe God gives us physical symbols that can often parallel or bring revelation to our spiritual life. Life is often our pulpit. Of course, I had to take this physical stability struggle...and my embarrassment and ask myself, “Do I have spiritual stability issues?”

Most often, I think we neglect our spiritual condition, but it is vitally, if not more important. My answer to the question came after reflecting on some recent wounds and fears…. “Ah, Yeeaaahhh! I have stability issues.” And like with the doctor, I am ashamed for others to see me, to see my wobbly faith. One day I am full of confidence in his plans for us with the books’ release and a perfect job to be discovered for my husband, and the next day, I fear people and the possibility of failure in the future.

If I could just constantly remember God promised to always go before me and be with me, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8). And he allows only what is filtered through his love to touch my life, “How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you,” (Psalm 31:19) then I’d be a little more stable.

Why the wobble or the Pop-tart breakdown? In the physical or the spiritual, strength and stability comes from discipline. My doctor invited me back for a follow-up visit on Friday. He will diagnose my problem further and give me…help in the form of massage, exercises, etc., I hope! To find an answer to the pain, I’ll need to heed whatever the doctor recommends…even if it’s to stop running for a month.

God invites us in for healing, as well. He tells us to pray about everything, and his priority for our lives is spiritual healing. He’s never condescending of our wounds or injury…but we need to listen; he knows the core causes of our symptoms and pains. He will give us direction to find our wholeness and health in him. He is our stability and strength – for each day. But how do we know his remedy if we are not spending time with him? Once we find the Healer to be legit, we can recommend him with confidence to others.
So, I have to ask you, “Do you have stability issues?” (or pop-tart in the toaster issues?). I’m asking, caring more for your spirituality – although I’d love for you to be healed or develop healthier choices physically.

How do we keep from wobbling in our faith? Just like with exercise, we need to make a choice to strengthen our hearts spiritually by daily spending time with God in his word and in prayer. A strong core – comes from spending time on bended knees! (In your heart attitude at least).

Oh, I can’t wait for you to have the opportunity to use my journals! They will be a great source of help, but in the meantime, pray and ask God to give you the desire and the discipline to exercise your faith. I encourage you to set aside more time this year in prayer or Bible reading than last year. Or…if this is new to you, start out reading and praying through the Psalms, or the book of John for ten minutes a day. Then increase in a few months and build that stability training program! This is your life – are you as physically and spiritually fit as you want to be? “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought for a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19). These ‘ole bodies are just temporary housing; we get new bodies in heaven! But our spirits – they’ll grow on.

Let’s make some changes for the better…clean out the clutter, don’t overdo, and take the time to care for you.

Reflect and Go Forward

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:38:03 PST

As I opened my computer this morning, my calendar on the sidebar, shadowed December 31st in red; it’s the last day of the year. Immediately, my response was thankfulness. Whew! I am so glad 2009 is behind us. And yet, as I spend a few moments reflecting, there is so much to be thankful for even during the difficult circumstances of a job loss and the tedious wait we have experienced with publishing. Saying “good bye” to the end of a year seems to bring with it the hope to come of a new year, a new beginning.

Even this morning I peaked forward in my devotional to January, the first page referenced Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I’ve read this verse so many times, and even have it memorized. My daughter’s drawing of a rainbow with this verse has been on our refrigerator for months. But this morning, I slowly pondered the verse again. You (God) know the plans you have for me (us), plans to bless me (us) and not to harm me (us), plans that include hope and the welfare of our future.

“Not to harm you” seemed to prick my heart the most. Do I really believe that God is not out to harm us? The world seems to think when things don’t go your way then God is out to get you – with punishment or payback. I don’t believe God works that way. Whatever he allows to come into our lives, he can and will bring good out of the circumstances. Our response may be what he is actually looking for…Do you trust me?

Looking back over this year, there really is so much to be thankful – our family, health, the basic necessities of our home, heat, clothes, food (even 3-4 gallons of milk a week), cars, and gas for our cars. God has been faithful to provide. We have not been without one need met since my husband was let go last April.

Through our church, family, and unemployment benefits we have been graciously given help. We were given monetary gifts to make Christmas special for our kids and to travel to Ohio to celebrate with my husband’s family. Christmas Eve we were blessed to receive another anonymous gift. Our hearts well up with thankfulness and my eyes with tears! God sees and he cares, and he provides through his people. How can I doubt his plans for our future when I see his care for us in the present?

During the dark times of uncertainty and waiting, we have struggled with our feelings that God is near. I think we as humans tend to base whether God is with us or not by how we feel. Our feelings may depend on our mood, circumstances, or a mere trifle in our home. But we are learning not to live by our feelings, but by our knowledge of who God is. God is with us, working out his will, whether we see the answers to our prayers the way we think we should. God doesn’t change like shifting shadows (James 1:17). He is Emmanuel, God with us, never to leave us forsake us. Our choice is to remain committed to God no matter what, even if the feelings never come.

I’ve been challenged recently to give more thanks and praise. I pray that “our light and momentary troubles” (2 Corinthians 4:17) become smaller as we gain his eternal perspective. As we wait in expectation, I am planning to set goals for 2010 and expect it to be a great year of new beginnings for our family. Wherever God leads us, I have learned in his will is the safest and most joyful place to be.

For me, as a new author, I’m attempting not to focus on the fear of man’s receptivity, but of all the opportunities and people I will meet, and prayerfully minister to through my speaking and books. We are thankful as the books go to print. These are exciting times for me, as my husband and I have been meeting with accountants and speaking with our attorney to establish the business. As soon as I have a name for it, I can move forward.

And we wait in great expectation for my husband in his new adventure as God unfolds his plan.

Our goal for 2010 is to grow in faith, and in trust as we keep moving forward, enjoying the climb. Some things are not easily measured. I’d like to see growth spiritually – less doubt, fear, temper, and despondency replaced with more trust, patience, hope, and love, in big and small ways. The answer to how this can be done – spending time in God’s presence in prayer and Bible reading aided by journaling what God is teaching you; these bring strength and hope to move forward in the future of uncertainty. J.I Packer said, “God guides our minds as we begin to think things out in His presence.” (Scripture is always our filter). As you learn to know God better, you’ll discover all he wants you to do.

Years ago, my former pastor once said, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit nothing.” So take an hour today or this week and reflect on God’s goodness in 2009. Write out a prayer of thanksgiving. Look forward to 2010 by setting two or three goals in 5 categories: physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and relationally. Keep your goals where you can glance at them from time to time…so you hit the bull’s-eye!

May we keep working toward that day when we will finally be all that Christ saved us for and be all that he wants us to be (Philippians 3:12).
Happy New Year!